A Fresh Perspective on Christian Dating: A Review of Outdated: Find Love That Lasts When Dating Has Changed by JP Pokluda
Let’s be real: Christian dating books often walk a fine line between insightful and cringeworthy. When I picked up Outdated: Find Love That Lasts When Dating Has Changed by JP Pokluda, I braced myself for the familiar eye rolls that accompany many titles in this genre. Much to my delight, Pokluda managed to deliver a refreshingly moderate dose of "cringe," which felt more like a compliment than a critique. His approach—firm but friendly—makes Outdated a standout, particularly in a sea of dating advice ranging from the formulaic to the downright harmful.
Divided into three sections—Why We Date, Who We Date, and How We Date—the book first establishes a critical foundation: singleness is not only okay, it’s vital. By emphasizing that dating should have marriage as its goal, Pokluda offers a healthy, grounded context where dating isn’t merely a form of social interaction but a meaningful journey toward partnership. This reframing is a breath of fresh air, especially in today’s shallow dating culture that often treats relationships as temporary stops rather than destinations.
In the second section, Who We Date, Pokluda courageously dismantles the myth of "The One." He challenges readers to redefine what compatibility looks like, moving beyond the fantastical notions of love at first sight and the "feeling" of love. His insights remind us that real relationships are about shared lives and deliberate choices, fostering a sense of friendship as the cornerstone of romantic connections. Nothing groundbreaking? Perhaps. But the way he weaves these ideas into a conversational framework is commendable, making complex topics digestible for readers of all ages.
The final part of the book, How We Date, speaks to setting boundaries and building a relationship that aligns with one’s values. While I appreciated the practical tips, I found myself yearning for deeper engagement with the subjects discussed. It feels like Pokluda is barely scratching the surface, perhaps due to the book’s concise nature. Moreover, his assertion that “all marriages are dissolved in heaven” was an eyebrow-raiser for me. While he uses biblical references to support this point, I couldn’t help but feel it casts a shadow on the very institution he’s discussing. Isn’t it odd to write a book about dating with aspirations of marriage, only to suggest that those unions won’t exist in the afterlife?
Despite these minor annoyances, Outdated stands tall as a decent manual for Christian dating. It occupies a pivotal space between the damaging doctrines of the past and the anything-goes mentality of secular culture. Though it’s undeniably a resource rather than an exhaustive guide, it lays essential groundwork for future discussions. For young adults navigating today’s treacherous dating waters filled with outdated purity culture and liberal ideologies, there’s a lot to unpack here.
In conclusion, JP Pokluda’s Outdated may not be the definitive text on Christian dating, but it sparks important conversations and provides a palatable starting point. It’s refreshing, foundational, and just might be the little nudge that Christian culture needs in the realm of dating. If you’re curious to explore this less-cringey side of Christian dating advice, you won’t want to miss it. Whether you’re seeking thoughtful guidance or simply looking for engaging reads, Outdated could be that starting point.
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